It’s a common observation: our dogs seem to instinctively sense our moods, responding with excitement to our joy or withdrawing when we’re upset. This demonstrates a deep emotional connection, with dogs often perceiving our feelings, sometimes even before we consciously acknowledge them.
This article delves into the profound emotional connection we share with our dogs, examining how they often respond to our feelings, particularly experiences of mild anxiety, and the complex factors that influence those reactions.
Beyond understanding this connection, we’ll explore practical exercises for both you and your dog to manage anxiety, and emphasize the crucial role of self-awareness in fostering a healthy emotional environment for both of you. Before exploring practical exercises for managing anxiety, it’s vital to address a critical distinction: not all dog anxiety is simply a reflection of our own emotional state.
Important Disclaimer: Not All Dog Anxiety Is Emotional Mirroring
While it’s true that dogs often mirror their owner’s emotions, it’s crucial to recognize that not all signs of anxiety in dogs are rooted in this connection. Dogs, like humans, can experience anxiety due to physical discomfort, medical conditions, or environmental stressors. Dismissing these potential causes by assuming all anxiety stems from your emotional state can overlook an important aspect of your dog’s well-being.
If your dog is showing persistent signs of anxiety — such as restlessness, excessive panting, pacing, or destructive behavior — it’s essential to consult with your veterinarian. Underlying medical conditions such as pain, thyroid imbalances, or neurological issues can manifest as anxiety-like behaviors. Additionally, sensory changes such as hearing loss, vision impairment, or cognitive decline in older dogs may cause confusion and distress, further contributing to anxious behavior.
A veterinary evaluation can help rule out or address these concerns, ensuring your dog’s health and comfort are prioritised. By partnering with your veterinarian, you can determine whether your dog’s anxiety requires medical treatment, lifestyle adjustments, or behavioural strategies.
Recognising the difference between emotionally influenced anxiety and health-related anxiety is key. Addressing potential medical causes allows you to provide the best care for your dog, while also giving you clarity on when emotional awareness and bonding techniques can play a supportive role in improving your dog’s well-being.
The Mirror Effect: How Our Emotions Impact Our Dogs
The Power of Emotional Connection
The Story of Shasa and Maya
I remember working with Shasa and her human Maya (names changed for privacy). Maya reached out because she was struggling with Shasa’s behavior during walks. At nearly 90 pounds, Shasa would pull and lunge, making walks stressful and unsafe. Maya had been working with a trainer who said Shasa had anxiety, but the training techniques weren’t helping much.
When I connected with Shasa, she surprised me. She didn’t see herself as anxious at all. Instead, she was reacting to Maya’s fearful energy – the worry about what might go wrong during their walks. Shasa was essentially telling me, “I feel her fear, and it makes me think I need to be on high alert too.”
Shasa’s message for Maya was beautiful: become aware of your own energy, recognize how powerful you are, and understand how your energy affects not just me (Shasa) but everyone around you. Shasa wanted Maya to take a few moments to breathe and center herself before their walks – to get grounded and walk with confidence.
The change was remarkable. Once Maya started taking those moments to calm herself before walks, Shasa’s behavior shifted dramatically. She began listening and responding to Maya’s guidance. Their connection deepened, and Shasa seemed overjoyed that her message had been heard – that she had helped Maya recognize her own power.
Recognizing When Your Dog Is Mirroring You
Signs to Watch For: Is It You or Your Dog?
What we often label as “dog anxiety” might actually be your dog reflecting your emotions back to you. This mirroring can show up in many ways:
- Excessive panting or pacing when you’re stressed
- Barking or reactivity when you feel threatened or insecure
- Clinginess when you’re feeling vulnerable
- Destructive behavior when you’re frustrated
The key difference between true dog anxiety and mirroring behavior is timing. Does your dog’s “anxious” behavior seem to coincide with your own stress? Do they calm down when you calm down? These could be signs that your dog is picking up on and amplifying your emotional state.
Questions to Ask Yourself: Introspection and Your Dog’s Well-being
When your dog shows signs of anxiety, take a moment to check in with yourself:
- What am I feeling right now that I might not be acknowledging?
- Am I carrying tension in my body?
- What am I worried about that my dog might be sensing?
- Have I been present and grounded today?
Your honest answers might reveal that your dog is responding to your energy, not creating problems on their own.
The Messages Behind The Mirror
What Your Dog Is Trying to Tell You: Dogs are natural teachers. When they mirror our energy, they’re often trying to bring our attention to something we need to address. Your dog’s behavior might be highlighting:
Unacknowledged emotions: That “anxiety” might be showing you feelings you’ve pushed aside.
Boundary issues: Your dog’s reactivity could point to places where you need stronger personal boundaries.
Need for presence: A dog that can’t settle might be reflecting how scattered your attention has become.
Think of your dog’s behavior as their way of saying, “Hey, I notice this about you, and I think you should too.” They’re not trying to cause trouble – they’re trying to help you see what you might be missing.
Techniques for Deeper Connection and Understanding
Quiet Connection: Building a Stronger Bond
Set aside 15-20 minutes of quiet time with your dog each day. Sit together without distractions. Place your hand gently on your dog and focus on your breathing. This simple practice creates quiet time and provides an opportunity for non-verbal communication and deeper connection. Dogs rely heavily on body language, and your gentle touch and presence can convey affection and build trust.
Grounding Meditation: Calming Yourself, Calming Your Dog
Combat your dog’s anxiety with this grounding exercise before triggering events:
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, ensuring a stable base. This physical stance provides a foundation for both your body and your mental focus.
Take three slow, deep breaths, visualizing roots extending from your feet into the ground. This connects you to the earth, anchoring you in the present moment and releasing tension.
Picture yourself as a calm, steady presence. This mental image reinforces your desired state, projecting a sense of peace and security.
Set a clear intention for the upcoming activity. This is where you consciously direct your energy and focus. Instead of just going through the motions, clearly define what you want to achieve during the activity. This isn’t just a vague wish; it’s a specific, focused statement.
Examples of clear intentions:
- I intend for this walk to be a calm and enjoyable experience for both my (insert dog’s name) and me.
- My intention is to maintain a relaxed and confident energy during this vet visit.
- I intend to calmly guide (insert dog’s name) through this crowded park, keeping him safe and secure.
- My intention is to enjoy a playful and stress free play session with my dog.
Why is this important?
Focus and Direction: It directs your attention away from potential anxieties and towards a positive outcome.
Energy Projection: Dogs are highly sensitive to our energy. Setting a clear intention helps project a sense of confidence and control, which can reassure your dog.
Mindfulness: It brings mindfulness to the activity, making you more present and aware of your dog’s needs.
Reduced Reactivity: When you have a clear intention, you’re less likely to react impulsively to your dog’s anxiety triggers.
When Maya began doing this before walks with Shasa, their whole dynamic shifted. She said Sasha felt the difference in my energy immediately.
As Maya discovered with Shasa, this exercise, especially the focused intention, can dramatically change your dog’s demeanor by altering your energy. By actively shaping your mindset, you create a more positive and calming environment for your dog.
Energy Check-Ins: Being Aware of Your Emotional State
Prioritize a moment of self-awareness throughout your day, particularly before connecting with your dog. Notice your internal state: are you feeling rushed, frustrated, or scattered? Your dog is highly attuned to these energies. A simple 30-second pause to center yourself can dramatically influence your dog’s response.
Transforming Together: Honoring Your Dog’s Wisdom
A New Perspective: Seeing Your Dog’s Behavior Differently
When you recognize that your dog is mirroring your energy, you have a wonderful opportunity to grow. Start by thanking your dog (silently or out loud) for showing you what you needed to see. This acknowledgment shifts your perspective from seeing “problem behaviors” to recognizing valuable messages.
Next, make small changes based on what you’ve learned. If your dog is showing you that you’re anxious, what steps can you take to address your stress? If they’re mirroring your lack of boundaries, where can you start setting healthier limits in your life?
For Maya, simply acknowledging her fear about walks and taking time to ground herself created a ripple effect. Not only did Shasa’s behavior improve, but Maya noticed she felt more confident in other areas of her life too. She could feel her personal power growing.
This work benefits both of you. As you address the emotions or patterns your dog is highlighting, you’ll likely see their “anxiety” fade. The behavior was never the real issue – it was just their way of communicating something important.
Your Dog’s Gift: An Invitation to Self-Awareness
Our animal companions have so much wisdom to share when we’re willing to listen. The next time your dog shows signs of anxiety, try shifting your perspective. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with my dog?” ask, “What might my dog be telling me about myself?”
Animals feel everything. They’re wired to reflect back to us what we may not be able to see – in ways that get our attention. By being open to these messages, we honor the deep bond we share with our dogs and open ourselves to healing and growth.
Your dog’s “anxiety” might just be their greatest gift to you – an invitation to know yourself better and to live with more awareness and intention. When you accept this invitation, both you and your dog can experience more joy, ease, and connection.
Remember what Shasa showed Maya: our animals are here not just as companions but as teachers. And sometimes, their most important lessons come wrapped in behaviors we initially see as problems.
Connect for Support in Understanding Your Dog’s Emotions
If you’re seeking additional guidance in understanding and supporting your dog’s emotional well-being, consider connecting with Susan J. Squittieri at Two Bear Healing Arts. With over two decades of experience, Susan specializes in Animal Reiki and Animal Communication, offering gentle energy healing and insightful guidance to help dogs manage anxiety, release tension, and foster emotional balance.
Through her approach, Susan can help you better understand your dog’s needs while providing comfort and calm for your canine companion. Whether your dog is experiencing stress, fear, or unexplained anxious behaviors, Susan’s expertise can bring healing and peace to both of you, creating a more harmonious home environment.